I played dirty with the devil

I bounced back and it was shiny

for five seconds

twelve seconds later

we came smooth.

You sing cursive

I stain paper with new courier

You're gonna wait for me

because my curves are irresistable.

You're gonna dance with the devil once more...

my lips are far out, my kiss is close to home.

Softly, you turn in.

...I said hello but I really meant goodbye.

It's a responsibility that I have, as a writer, to show you.

Making words an instrument and play a concert of language for your eyes through the silence gives me nothing less than inspiration. A super strategy

I like you. I want that light, light crystal blue in  your eyes to look at me like that always. I want your hair to hang down over your face like it did Saturday. I want you to talk to your friends about me, while I was standing right there, and still have that protective tone, that soft concern.

I can't tell you this, though. Because I said no to it in December.

I like you.

I don't know whether to be her or me.

I'll be me.

You know me...but you don't know me...but you do. Just trust me.

I want to talk about me. This includes a physical perception that is nonetheless real. It's me risking a lot of quirky judgement but who cares; you don't know who I am.

Sometimes it's not just my face. Sometimes it's not just my curves. I can't deny my eyes but you have to stick around for my words.

You have to stick around for my words

I want the dust to be lifted, sifted, aired out as these red curtains slowly wiggle open;

Give me a moment. Just one moment.

I want a love that is super, natural, fervent, thirsty, happy, and most of all...real. What is it like to give your heart to something that is real? Something simple, easy, why can't you slam down into my life like a clap of thunder, why can't you see it in my eyes and then know you belong by me, where are you...

Where are you...

You might not even be real.

My eyes are big, frightened, stiff...the curtain closes.

Here comes tomorrow.

Wow. Christmas shopping: looks like I'll be eating cheese and crackers for the next month

I have limited family down here, but that doesn't disregard the need to buy for everyone in my family. My mother has recently moved to Laguna Beach and not only did I buy her a fantastic present, but the shipping and handling for everyone probably paid this month's electric bill for my UPS store

Maybe if I see the colors in a different shade......

I have to be careful. I have to close my blinds. I have to repaint. I have to tie my hair back. I have to avoid eye contact when I check the mail. I got naked for your husband. He paid me.

We must all have our own woes.

That doesn't mean we should preach when someone else's are fantastically different from our own.

I have a pair of pink flipflops in my closet--and you've never worn them.

I have not shown many of the comments/concerns some have expressed to me, and for good reason, mostly for their own sake. They don't know me, and if they knew the whole story they might have taken it all back, inside.

I watch the cooking channel, I just do lines of coke when I watch it. I can't eat. I have to be thin.

I put money in the red pail  with the man ringing his bell in front of it at Christmas time, I just have to go into the store really quickly to grab some wine and cigarettes.

If I sat down, number-crunched it, tried to scientifically figure out why humans are their own sultan, they are their own enemy, their own sentence...                                     I could try being honest.